It's a bitter sweet symphony this life

I sit by the window. Outside, an aspen.
When I loved, I loved deeply. It wasn’t often.
I sit by the window. The dishes are done.
I was happy here. But I won’t be again.
I sit by the window. And while I sit
my youth comes back. Sometimes I’d smile. Or spit.
I sit by the window. Hands lock my knees.
My heavy shadow’s my squat company.
I sit by the window in the dark. Like an express,
the waves behind the wavelike curtain crash.
I sit in the dark. And it would be hard to figure out
which is worse; the dark inside, or the darkness out.